The Art of Having It All
By Christy Whitman
Many of us feel like the universe often holds a far bigger vision for us than we are capable of seeing for ourselves at any particular moment in time. As we get older, and experience life, we see that getting ahead requires that we embrace change and understand that we need to move toward it in a ﬂuid way, not against it. It’s very much like dancing.
It’s not all about winning, or having lots of money, and or a fantastic career and wonderful family. Having it all is more about the feeling we carry with us in the privacy of our own hearts and minds.
In my book The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance, I offer up a modern strategy for women who want to have it all. I lay out a path forward that shows people how to feel thankful, hopeful, and healthy all at the same time, all the time.
The ideas I share can not only be used to chart a course to greater abundance and success, but to a deeper connection with yourself and an increased ability to enjoy all that you are and all that you have created and have yet to create. Here are some of the steps I recommend women take:
Deﬁne Your It and Your All
The first step is to become profoundly connected to yourself. No two women have the same life experiences, the same perspectives, the same goals, preferences, beliefs or ideals and for this reason, no two women deﬁne having it all in exactly the same ways. Each and every one of us is a unique expression of the Divine or Higher Power or whatever you may believe. Despite what we may have been socialized to believe, we don’t all want the same things.
Give yourself permission to envision what having it all means to you in each important area of your life. Let your imagination expand to create a vision of all that you desire to create physically, emotionally, socially, ﬁnancially, and spiritually. Visualize a reality in which your desires manifest naturally and easily, and in which you experience all the joy, health, success, abundance and fulﬁllment that you desire.
Define the things that truly bring you happiness. Identify the conditions or experiences you have always wanted to create. Design your life to be amazing beyond your wildest imagination. What would it look like? How would it feel? Are you ﬁnancially abundant and debt free? Is your body a certain size or weight? Do you feel more rewarded in your career? Are your relationships more intimate and satisfying?
Allow yourself to dream about what having it all means to you. Don’t worry about how it will happen.
“Having it all simply means having access to all of yourself, in any moment you choose it, and in every aspect of life that is important to you.”
Create From the Inside Out
Identify a speciﬁc area in your life — your ﬁnances, your career, relationships with others, for example — where you feel discontent, frustrated or unfulﬁlled; an aspect of your life where you do not yet feel you have it all. Identify the dominant emotion or vibration that you are emitting in response to it. Do you feel resentment? Disappointment? Resignation?
Allow yourself to feel this emotion in your body. Where is the feeling located? How large of an area does it cover? Connect with this emotion. Notice if it is familiar to you. Think back to the past, to relationships or circumstances where you experienced it Notice the feelings in your body as you consider this.
Acknowledge that you — and no one else — are the sole generator of your vibration. Ask yourself if there is anything you have to give up in order to shift your attitude. Do you need to release some old resentment? Do you have to give up being a victim? Do you have to let go of being right? Identify what you have been holding on to, see if you can give it up, and notice what happens to how you feel as you do. Liberate yourself. Connect with the feeling you want. Allow it to become your new center and your new point of attraction.
“Nothing can happen until you start paying attention to you, and this means listening to your emotions rather than to resist, suppress, ignore or deny them.”
Be Open to Receiving
Call to mind any area of your life where you are in a state of resistance — some place where you have a chronic complaint or where your viewpoint is one of “It shouldn’t be like this”. Try to see if you can allow yourself to accept it exactly as it is. Accepting a situation does not mean that you approve of it, or that you don’t want it to change. It simply means accepting what is at this moment. Give yourself permission to think and feel about it the way that you do, without trying to minimize your feelings or pretend to feel any differently.
Pay closer attention to the way you feel about this situation. Allow yourself to receive whatever information your emotions are trying to convey to you. What is the message your feelings are giving you about you? Allow yourself to feel the intensity of your emotions fully and completely, without describing or labeling them. Simply be with them with all of your attention, and feel the power of their vibration.
Embrace them rather than resist them. And notice that they begin to dissipate and release. From this new level of awareness, allow yourself to connect with what you really do want to experience in this area of your life. How do you want to feel in relation to this situation? What is one action you could take — be it an inner action or an outer action — to change your set point about this issue? How can you allow in more of what you are wanting? Go for it. Bring it on. Make it happen.
"Give yourself permission to have. Give yourself permission to be. Give yourself permission to need. Give yourself permission to let go."
Clarity + Alignment + Action = Manifestation
Clarity about the exact nature of what you want builds intensity and distinguishes the unique vibration of your desire. Maintaining a feeling allowing and non-resistance draws it towards us. The combination of feeling good, excited and content with what is, while at the same time being clear about what more we want, opens the door for more to come into our lives. Intending and allowing are equally important in the manifestation equation, but every situation calls for a different degree of each. The bigger our goal and the clearer our intention, the more we need to allow.
When you then add physical action into this equation, you summon the power to manifest anything you desire. Whether you experience this creative process as spontaneous and easy or as slow and difﬁcult depends on how much of a balance you are able to strike between these inner and outer forces.
"There is a deep place within your system where there is complete alignment and inﬁnite capacity."
You Can Have it All
By allowing yourself to swell up with that gratitude, you open up doorways along your path. Synchronicity comes into play and people show up in your life that bring you to places that are truly unimaginable to you in the present moment.”
Life really happens. Dreams really can come true.
Christy Whitman is a New York Times bestselling author, transformational leader, and author of the forthcoming book The Art of Having It All. She has appeared on The Today Show and The Morning Show, and her work has been featured in People Magazine, Seventeen, Woman's Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others. As the CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month Law of Attraction coaching certification program.